there is a saying tat "u will feel lonely but u will never be alone"...
somehow to9...i feel i am very lonely and alone...is like everything and everyone i know doesnt care about me anymore...
a group tat i always mix over here doesnt seems to care about wat i feel...they doesnt care...and this make me sad...they make me feel like i am nothing...not even making me feel tat i am a fren inside their heart...this make me so sad...is it tat frenship tat we make after our secondary sch is just a temporary relation tat everyone be fren of u coz they need somehting from u ? and me...still hav to face them and smile to them...as a clown to them...when they need to be entertain they find me and when they do not need it...they left me aside like a wooden puppet and even i try to do anything 10 times better than a person but to them tat person will always get the crowd...
some of old frens making jokes on me...well...their intention i know they mean no harm but sorry...for the time being...i dun need a joke...wat i need is some frens support and some caring words...i dun like the feeling being make fun while all of u are laughing and i dont even know wat is going on...i hate tat...very very much...
i look into my contact list...to make a call and talk to someone...surprisingly...after looking thru the whole list...i dun even feel like calling anyone from the list...i got a feeling tat whoever i called will not comfort me...i feel very very sad tat i couldnt called anyone to talk to...not a name in the list can make me feel tat "yup...he/she is a right person to talk to"
frens over here...when starting all seems to be nice and caring...but after time passed...everyone changed o shud i say reveal their true self...backstabbing each other...talking ppl bad things...influence ppl wif bad thoughts...especially tat person...i hated u...turning most of frens here being the same as u...backstabbing...
i already started to hate a few ppl bcoz of ur influence on them...i dunno y...they keep getting influence by u eventhough u they know u are wrong...i feel like is my fault bringing u into this grp...now i started to hate everyone in the grp and everyone in the grp like abandon me...
life sucks here...and i thought tat i might get a new exp here wif good things...and thx to u all...it proves me wrong...
4 comments:
Hey friend...
First of all, would like to say sorry to you. I am part of the group that plans to make a joke on you that day. We just tot you will be bored and I dint even tot of this joke would actually make you had hard feelings... Sorry ya.
Just to let you know, all of us here would support you to the end, no matter what. If you have any problem, feel free to call us. Even thou some of us are very *kamlan, yet I think at serious times, we can still help. You are our friend, not a tool, not an entertainment. Be happy k??
well...is ok...just had mood swing tat night...something happen here and it makes me hate it...
dun worry...i dun giv a dam to some of them from now on...
p/s: who(war08) so *kamlan ar...lol
hey hey,zaizai^^
aih~~feel free to call ur mama anytime, ur mama will alwiz be free to at least listen to u even if she dun have time to meet u up...
yea,things usually changes...i too feel tat i couldn't get into my group bcoz all of them are in peninsular and they got more chances to meet up...i'm too faraway and catching up every half year isnt quite enough~~~
well, i think i noe who that person u mention bout...if not mistaken la...well,to be honest, i dun quite like the influence he poses onto others,especially 1...somehow,u guys are gonna go apart ady,juz appreciate tis last moments u guys are gonna have together la...
and dun forget, at least from uni life,we get to get close with each other^^even though i noe most guys from ur group but we never reli get along until we step into sabah~~~tat's sumthing reli nice to me...u're a very important part in my uni life,zaizai^^
although is very old post..but i feel sorry that i cant be thr to comfort u...
mayb we used to less talk to each other..
bt anyway,u can find me..i do care bout ur feeling...
(remind u if u dunno me..XD)
cheers ^^
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