lonely or alone

there is a saying tat "u will feel lonely but u will never be alone"...

somehow to9...i feel i am very lonely and alone...is like everything and everyone i know doesnt care about me anymore...

a group tat i always mix over here doesnt seems to care about wat i feel...they doesnt care...and this make me sad...they make me feel like i am nothing...not even making me feel tat i am a fren inside their heart...this make me so sad...is it tat frenship tat we make after our secondary sch is just a temporary relation tat everyone be fren of u coz they need somehting from u ? and me...still hav to face them and smile to them...as a clown to them...when they need to be entertain they find me and when they do not need it...they left me aside like a wooden puppet and even i try to do anything 10 times better than a person but to them tat person will always get the crowd...

some of old frens making jokes on me...well...their intention i know they mean no harm but sorry...for the time being...i dun need a joke...wat i need is some frens support and some caring words...i dun like the feeling being make fun while all of u are laughing and i dont even know wat is going on...i hate tat...very very much...

i look into my contact list...to make a call and talk to someone...surprisingly...after looking thru the whole list...i dun even feel like calling anyone from the list...i got a feeling tat whoever i called will not comfort me...i feel very very sad tat i couldnt called anyone to talk to...not a name in the list can make me feel tat "yup...he/she is a right person to talk to"

frens over here...when starting all seems to be nice and caring...but after time passed...everyone changed o shud i say reveal their true self...backstabbing each other...talking ppl bad things...influence ppl wif bad thoughts...especially tat person...i hated u...turning most of frens here being the same as u...backstabbing...

i already started to hate a few ppl bcoz of ur influence on them...i dunno y...they keep getting influence by u eventhough u they know u are wrong...i feel like is my fault bringing u into this grp...now i started to hate everyone in the grp and everyone in the grp like abandon me...

life sucks here...and i thought tat i might get a new exp here wif good things...and thx to u all...it proves me wrong...